and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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