i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
