"it" just moved
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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