you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
