I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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