Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize