he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
