Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
