Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
