i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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