I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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