apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
