Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
