All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
