Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Well I just put wine in my tea
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
