He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Houston, we have a blender
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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