I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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