Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
