someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
