i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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