i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
