i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
