everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
