ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize