im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
