did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize