I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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