this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
