Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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