He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
