What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
