her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize