Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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