Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I currently don't understand fingers.
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