Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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