TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
