My balls are so social today.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
