He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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