isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
