I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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