I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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