happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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