HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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