as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
