margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize