Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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