So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
