Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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