I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Even my vagina gasped.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
