More tranny stories later!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
