Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
