"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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