i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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