week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Two words: nipple clamps
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