I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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