you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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