just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
