Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
