Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
