Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
