all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
