yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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