worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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