suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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