drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
