We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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